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The 3 Simple Reasons Why Girls Friendzone You.
You will agree with me that getting ‘friendzoned’ is the most painful thing when it comes to male-female social dynamics.
The funny thing is, most guys don’t even know when they are in the friendzone. But What does it mean to get friendzoned?
In literal terms, to get friendzoned by a girl is to be considered as just a friend, with no hope of intimacy; or to be considered as a big brother, the one who provides her basic needs and gives her advice.
Once you are in the dark abyss of friendzone, your chances of ever seeing the light of day is slim. It’s even better for you to be dumped as a boyfriend ( yea, guys do get dumped too!) than for you to be lost in the friendzone with no hope of rescue.
This article aims to bring to the foreground of your mind the three basic reasons why girls always see you as a big brother; or to put it more succinctly, a ‘MAGA’.
1. You Are Mr. Too-Nice.
” Wooooo…oww!” Hannah said gushingly, as she side hugged Emeka. ” It’so beautiful, thanks for the gift Emeka”
“Oh my dear, don’t worry…it’s nothing,” Emeka replied, his voice laced with a tinge of pride. He dipped his hand into his wallet, removed some wads of cash, and tucked it into Hannah’s palm. ” Baby, just manage this N10,000 for the weekend.”
Hannah, obviously engulfed with emotion, and beaming with smiles from ear to ear, pecked him. ” You are so nice and caring Emeka… Thanks!!”
“Don’t mention dear, I will always be there for you”, he promised. He slowly side hugged her, cautiously making sure his arm or shoulders didn’t touch or go near her huge melon-sized boobs, which screamed for attention in her blue figure-hugging crop top. “Don’t forget my request dear.”
Hannah. ” Oh, I wont forget…dont worry, I will think about it Emeka, after my exams.”
Emeka breathed a sigh of relief, brought his palms together, like he was about to utter a mantra. ” I hope it’s going to be a yes!” ” I can’t wait for you to be my girl, Hannah.”.
Sounds familiar? Are you like Emeka when it comes to dating? You are very nice. In fact, you get compliments from girls about how nice you are nice to a fault. But sadly, this is reality – not Hollywood, where the nice, shy, and feeble-minded protagonist finishes first.
Not to sound misogynistic or crude, giving favours to girls who dont deserve it will only backfire in the long run. It will not only kill your game; it will also make you look cheap.
DON’T BE LIKE EMEKA!!!
Before you can start playing nice to a girl, and saying yes to her to her requests, you need a certain level of investment from her-which brings us to the next point.
2. You Are More Invested Than She Is.
Kunle was Rita’s secret admirer. He loved her so much, but he was confused about expressing his feelings. Finally, he summoned enough courage to introduce himself. They exchanged numbers and became friends. He called her everday, and sent her gifts. He would call in the morning, afternoon, and before bedtime — Rita rarely called back.
Whenever they meet, Kunle would complain petulantly, and rant about her uncaring attitude. He wondered why she didn’t call as much as he did. Rita would calm him down with the flimsy excuses of being busy and not having call credits. Every date ended the same way – he credits her line, pays for the date expenses, and gets a mere hug as his reward.
Everything you do to make a relationship or social interaction move forward is termed “Investment”. You sow a seed of investment when you do any of the following: call her, text her, send cash, start chats, and so on. When you do these things too much, you become predictable, like Kunle. You need to give your target an opportunity to miss you, so she can replay your investments. Giving her too much attention will never achieve that. And dont forget, sex is the greatest investment.
The person who invests more is the one who is more attracted, and sadly, the one who feels more pain after a breakup. Conversely, the person who invests less is the one who does less work, and the one who controls the convo.
Rita never felt anything for Kunle. He was too obsequious and predictable. He gave her too much attention. She only kept him around because of his magnanimity.
DON’T BE LIKE KUNLE
3.You Don’t Act Like A Boyfriend Material
Do you have a boyfriend? Richard asked expectantly. He dropped his glass of beer, and folded his arms awaiting a positive reply.
” Yes I do. Why do you ask? Remi said flippantly, as she scooped another spoonful of the Vanilla icecream Richard got her.
” Nothing rea…lly, I just…asked”, Richard stammered. He looked disappointed, like a man who just had his HIV status confirmed by a doctor.
Graveyard silence filled the room afterwards. Richard was disoriented as he found it hard to continue the conversation. He fumble several times, before summoning the courage to ask her a question.
“So when are you finishing your exam?
“June,” she replied almost immediately.
“Cool,” he replied, nodding his head, as he sunk his back deep into the wooly chair.
“So will you be going home after your exams?” Richard asked
“No, I will be in staying in school,” Remi said as she flicked her long dark hair from her face, ” I need to work on my term paper”.
The rest of the conversation was monotonous- more like an interview. Richard’s plan of asking Remi out had failed. He continued to bore her with his bromidic yes-or-no questions. Finally her phone rang. Remi’s mum had called to tell her to pick up her younger sister from school.
She stood up, and told Riichard she needed to leave. There was nothing more he could do. He knew he had become boring to her. They shook hands and smiled at each other. As she turned to leave, he took a last stare at her massive backside, which clung tightly to her short blue gown. He sighed heavily, turned around and ordered for another bottle of Gulder.
When you dont show the tendencies of being a boyfriend, girls will automatically friendzone you- I dont care whether you look like Brad Pitt. If you are cool and well groomed, you dont need permission to do somethings. You dont have to be good looking, just be looking good.
Can you call her nicknames like Sexy, Baby, Boo, BabyPie without fear? Without thinking or caring about what she would think? When you meet her, do you go for hugs or handshake? Side hugs or face-face hugs?
You can get easily friendzoned, just like Richard, when you dont act like a boyfriend from the outset. Think about it. You don’t need permission to date or attract a girl. Nothing concerns you with her boyfriend or past relationships. Your only care, from the first few minutes of approach, is to act like a boyfriend.
You want her to be your girl, right? Have you ever asked yourself: “Am I acting like a boyfriend?” or “Do I have the qualities of a boyfriend?
Moreover, when you keep begging a girl to date you, asking her out without end- even after she has told you a blatant no already- you risk total rejection. Beautiful girls don’t fancy desperate guys. If you are the desperate type, you are already on the steep highway leading to friendzone.
Play your own game and keep the attraction button pressed. With enough attraction and acting like a boyfriend from day one, she may open up about her boyfriend and she might not. If she does, no worries, just continue your game. Dont back out. If she doesn’t bring her relationship status up, good for you. In any case, you must keep advancing like a soldier on a mission.
Some girls might want to have fun with you, but you asking: ” Do you have a boyfriend”, automatically kills all the attraction. You begin to make her rationalize her attraction for you, and she might even end up telling you a yes- even if she doesnt have a boyfriend.
Play your game tight.
DONT BE LIKE RICHARD!
The process of getting locked in the friendzone is not rocket science. Women dont friendzone you without legit reasons. You must have either been too nice and invested too much, or failed to show you have boyfriend potential. Correct these three mistakes, and you will be amazed at how many girlfriends you will have to deal with.